Redemption
by WinchesterSurvivor
Summary: The choices we make can lead us down a path that we never intended to take. His choices caused him to lose sight of what's most important.


_PROLOGUE_

 _Dear, Elizabeth_

 _I'm aware I' am probably the last person you expect to hear from and I will understand if you decided to just throw this letter away. But I would like to take this chance by apologizing for the things that occurred over the last couple of years. I can never undo the things I did or didn't do for that matter. But I hope to one day make up for them and show you the man that I can be. I regretted a lot of things in my life but you was never one of them. Despise what you think I love you very much even when I didn't show it. I truly lost myself over the years and I'm not trying to excuse my selfish behavior but I would like to take the time and explain._

 _Honestly I was trying so hard not to become the man that I hated but instead I became worst. I was torn between two amazing women and before I even realized it life got the best of me. I was so incredibly stupid to believe I could have the best of both worlds. I just couldn't let go even though I knew someone would get hurt in the end. But I never picture the way things turned out, I never imagine hurting you._

 _Choosing the one you want to spend your life with is never easy, specially when you have everyone around telling you who that person should be. I use to believed I was going down the right path until a Beautiful Brunette with dimples and a breathtaking smile made me change directions. It wasn't love at first sight more like infatuation, there was just something about her that I couldn't resist. Our relationship was basic on lust at first but than I found myself truly caring for her. But a bigger part of me was still in love with a dream and when that dream presented itself to become a reality I took that opportunity without a second glance._

 _I was so blinded that I didn't foresee what my actions would cause until it was to late. Hurting someone you cared for really changes things. And when I saw those tears I couldn't believe I was the one who put them there. When a chance to leave presented itself I left. I ran rather than to face my mistakes that I left behind, but while I was away I gained some clarity. I had an idea of the person I wanted to be I even cut my hair as a sign to start anew. And when events occurred that warranted my return I was blessed with seconds chances. This time I felled in love with a girl who became my everything._

 _A death threw my whole world for a loop so to speak. The one man who was like father to me was no longer there. The one man who I confined in was taken from the people who loved him. Devastated, lost, and angry beyond belief was just a few things I was feeling. With all these emotions going around and my battle inside myself to play a game that my heart wasn't into I never forsaken that a kiss that truly didn't mean anything was a downfall on relationship with a girl who made me see the light at the end of the tunnel._

 _I'm sure you heard the stories before. But everyone seems to have there own version about how I felt. I want, no I need you to understand I was In love. I was planning my life around her. There wasn't a day that I didn't think about her. I know by reading my book it doesn't really match to what I'm saying now but this is the true. I wrote that book after my heart was broken and I was in relationship that was different. I won_ _'_ _t say I don't love Peyton because that isn't true,but I will say its nothing like what me and Brooke shared._

 _She was never a footnote please believe me when I say Brooke Davis was a tornado that I fully embraced._

 _Now this is where life gets complicated, this is where I tell you how one night leads to something magical, pain filled, heartbreaking but I wouldn't change it because it brought me you. See it all started in New York where I was having my first book signing and I didn't think anyone was going to come. But there she was just shinning bright looking absolutely Gorgeous. I remember being so excited to see her, it been at least 4 years since have. You can count on Brooke even when all things look lost that's just the type of person she is. And when I hugged her I just felt at home._

 _We decided to go out to dinner to just catch up but I ended going into details of my break up with Peyton. I was still reeling from her rejection on my proposal. It was such a beautiful night although I admit we were a little drunk. Yes I know what your thinking Us plus alcohol never ends well. Well we all know how that night ended but I want you to understand I really wanted to work it out but its just so much rejection one guy can take._

 _I should_ _'_ _ve fought harder but instead I gave up so easily. I just figured with our history and how much I hurt her there was no way she_ _'_ _ll give me another chance. So I went home and a week later Peyton showed up on my door steps. Apologies was given and promises was made. It was just easy to give in into something comfortable. With her it was familiar, it was easy, we were the same._

 _As good as it was I always felt something was missing then your mom knocked on my door and she was glowing so amazing breathtaking in the sunlight. But then I saw and that's where I knew things were going to change drastically. I was planning on ending things with Peyton so we can become a family but she was also pregnant with my child._

 _I just didn't know what to do, I couldn't believe I let things get that far._

 _I tried to be there for the both of you but then I found myself letting my hero complex kick in. Your mom was so strong and I know she wouldn't me as much as Peyton would. And at that time it just felt good to be wanted. Sawyer always needed more attention and I let that overtake the time we shared. I missed so many of our nights together because I believed you would be OK that you was just understanding. I never saw the sadness in your eyes, I never meant to make you feel second to anyone and I never wanted to give you empty promises._

 _Your mom tried to get me to see but I guess I was just a coward. I didn't want to believe any of that was true. So I just overlooked it and ended up breaking your heart as well as your mother. By the time I realized that she gave up on me it was to late. By the time I realized what I have put you through you didn't need or want me. And that was just a huge blow to me heart. But I don't blame you at all. I missed so many important events in your life and a sorry will never be enough to fix it. But I hope this letter is a start to a new beginning if you decide to have me._

 _I need you to understand that I will always love you no matter what I always loved you even when it may not seems like it. I will never forgive myself for how things ended. That will be something that will haunt me to the end of times. Your my daughter and I sorry for everything and I hope to become a father that you wished I was. Of course I understand that I will never be able to take his place. As much as it hurts me but I'm truly glad you have him in your life. I know I still have plenty of apologies to give out I just wanted you to be first. I wanted you to understand that I never once in my life regretted you. That I'm here now trying my best to become someone who is worth your love._

 _I don't expect you to write back but if you think you could give me a chance to be in your life even a little I would appreciate it._

 _Love-Lucas Scott_


End file.
